JESUS CHRIST, why am I like this?

You know that feeling when you’re just sitting in the bed that you haven’t left all day, your  hair is greasy, you haven’t drank any water, and you know you want to be crying but nothing comes out? You want change in your life, you want to do something that makes you happy, but you have no idea what to do to get there. There is something missing in your life. What is it? What is missing? Maybe it’s just me.

Continue reading “stupid idiot stop feeling bad” →

This is a post I will hopefully remember to update. If I don’t, feel free to yell at me (but not too loud, because I will get scared and probably cry).

I love funny things, as most people do. I love laughing. It is terrific, except my laugh is really embarrassing so I try not to do it too much in front of people. But in the comfort of my secluded apartment, I am free to cachinnate as I please. Continue reading “a running list of funny things i find” →

I’m sure every human can relate to this in one way or another. You have a project, a dream, a desire, a job, a whatever, that you had been extremely ecstatic about. It was one of those things that you fell asleep thinking about, that you spent hours working on or planning. And then, outer circumstances changed. And the motivation and desire just…fizzled. I don’t know. It just became more of a “I wish” instead of a “I’m going to”. Continue reading “the motivation…simply gone” →

I never thought I would actually come back to this website and dust it off.

But I just did.

Continue reading “the mcfreaking return” →

Happy Sunday!

I’m writing to you from the floor of an overcrowded airport in the western midwest (does that even make sense?), where my flight back home has been delayed three hours. Usually, I really am an airport lover. But right now, in this old fashioned, tiny airport full of suburban people and no empty charging ports, I’m going crazy.

Since I have classes bright and early tomorrow, and an excruciatingly long and difficult chemistry test to look forward to, I decided to list some of the things (big and little) that make me happy to keep my spirits up. Continue reading “6 Things to Be Happy About” →

I haven’t written in a long time.

I keep starting and stopping posts, saving them in my drafts, rewriting them and doing it all over again. I’m having a lot of trouble finding words, or finding something to give to you all that actually means something and will stick with you.

So, as I sit in class, I have decided to write about when to stop fighting depression.

My blog has slowly become one for mental health, and I hope you’re all okay with that. I wish I had something like this to read when I was struggling, so hopefully this will help someone else. Continue reading “Learning to Stop Fighting Alone” →

October, 2016: what is up everybody i am updating this because it is horribly horrible

May, 2017: lemme fix this again i was angsty when i updated in october lmao
Continue reading “a new q&a” →

I’m not gonna lie, I’m a huge romantic. Ever since I was in the first grade, I’ve been developing crushes. I distinctly remember having a crush on my first grade best friend, and I pretty much worshipped him. I wrote about him every day in my little diary, and was absolutely heartbroken and devastated when he moved to Indiana in second grade.

All my life, or at least all I can remember of it, has been revolving around finding “true love”. I watched every Nicholas Sparks movie and read every YA romance novel that I could pick up. I cried at night over celebrities like Drake Bell and Leonardo DiCaprio, and wrote letters to Zac Efron to store under my pillow at night, wishing for him to marry me on my eighth birthday.  Continue reading “High School Relationships– “In Love”” →

Okay, yet again, let me preface this post with a little back-story (you’re getting used to this now, aren’t you?)…

All of my life, I have been one to keep things rather tidy in my bedroom. I’ve never cared about the rest of my house (which is always messy due to the dogs, my siblings, etc.,), but my room has always appeared nicely. Now, when I say this, don’t assume that I actually organized. I shoved things under my bed, in my drawers, under clothes in my closet. It just seemed clean. Continue reading “Getting a Little OCD” →

When you read the title, I’m sure you can relate in one way or another. And as I do with almost every post I write, I’ll start with my own personal backstory before beginning…

I remember the very first social media account I created was a Twitter when I was in fifth grade. It came with my phone, so I made an account, but never used it. So, I suppose that doesn’t exactly count. Near the end of sixth grade, when I was twelve years old, I created an Instagram account. Soon after that, many sites followed; Facebook, Twitter, Gifboom, Keek, Kik, Pinterest, Snapchat, Vine, Tumblr. I became a teenager at the height of social media.

Social media sites like these appeal to the people in my generation; self-centered, vain, consumed and ignorant young people who want to show themselves off online.

Websites like Instagram and Facebook caused many problems for me, as you’ve read before; seeing everyone post all the time with their friends was extremely hurtful when I had no friends at all, blah, blah, blah. You know the drill. Continue reading “Social Media Messes With Your Mind” →