Getting a Little OCD

This picture makes me want to pull my hair out. I feel literal anxiety in my chest just looking at it.

Okay, yet again, let me preface this post with a little back-story (you’re getting used to this now, aren’t you?)…

All of my life, I have been one to keep things rather tidy in my bedroom. I’ve never cared about the rest of my house (which is always messy due to the dogs, my siblings, etc.,), but my room has always appeared nicely. Now, when I say this, don’t assume that I actually organized. I shoved things under my bed, in my drawers, under clothes in my closet. It just seemed clean.

But, last year (last year seems to be the height of my problems and changes, doesn’t it?), I got into this crazy cleaning frenzy. My bedroom, which I had lived in since I was a child, has suddenly seemed so messy and unfixable to me, so I moved downstairs to the tiny office space room. It was cold, had no closet space, and barely enough room for my bed, but it was a fresh, clean slate.

It started out so organized and simple, but being me, things started to pile up and it kept getting messier. So, of course, seven months later, I switched to my little brother’s old room, which is where I stay now.

I was so fixed on having a neat room, that I forced myself to drag bed frames and bookcases up and down stairs just to make everything perfect.

Even now, I find it extremely depressing and unsettling when my bedroom is in disarray. I color-coded the dresses and blouses on the moving rack in my room, and organized the shirts and pants in my closet to how often I wore them. The shoes in my closet are color, size and height coded, and the makeup on my counter is sectioned into brands and type. I make my bed twice a day, even at 11pm, just because I want it to be crisp when I climb in.

I didn’t realize until recently how obsessive compulsive I get over my room. I suppose I feel much better about myself when everything is where it should be. It eats me up if there are clothes or towels on the floor, or if the outfit I was planning on wearing the next day isn’t folded perfectly at the mirror. I get anxious when things aren’t clean.

Now, I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing, or if its even a thing at all, but I like to be surrounded by organized things. It doesn’t bother me when other people aren’t like this, though. If someone else is completely messy and untidy, it doesn’t affect me at all.

But the thing is, my obsessive nature over my room is starting to spread to the rest of my house. When I get home from school, I clean up the living room or squirrel things away in the dining room to look cleaner. And this freaks me out a bit.

I’m not a germaphobe (at all) and am not like Emma from Glee, but I do prefer things to be organized and easily accessible.

I don’t exactly know where I was going with this article, perhaps to find someone else who gets a little crazy about organization, or maybe even for someone to tell me why I’m being so crazy…

Either way, I hope your week starts off well, and that you make it to the end quickly and cleanly!


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