I’m not gonna lie, I’m a huge romantic. Ever since I was in the first grade, I’ve been developing crushes. I distinctly remember having a crush on my first grade best friend, and I pretty much worshipped him. I wrote about him every day in my little diary, and was absolutely heartbroken and devastated when he moved to Indiana in second grade.
All my life, or at least all I can remember of it, has been revolving around finding “true love”. I watched every Nicholas Sparks movie and read every YA romance novel that I could pick up. I cried at night over celebrities like Drake Bell and Leonardo DiCaprio, and wrote letters to Zac Efron to store under my pillow at night, wishing for him to marry me on my eighth birthday.
In middle school, people started “dating”. And when I put quotation marks around that phrase because it wasn’t dating at all. A boy would find a girl he barely knew and figure out if she thought he was cute, and then ask her to be his girlfriend. She would say yes, and they would completely ignore each other, only contacting through text messages where they confessed their undying love for each other… stupid.
I remember having a dozen “boyfriends” in the sixth grade, and being partially in love with each and every one of them. I refused to tell my family that I was “dating”, but was a little hoppin’ hoe at school.
I think the first time I actually ever told myself I was “in love” was the summer before eighth grade, when I met a boy at summer camp and went to the prom-themed dance with him. I was absolutely head over heels “in love” with him, and sobbed at night listening to Coldplay wishing that he could be my boyfriend (he was a year older and lived in a different state). I remember that feeling that I had, where I told myself that there would never be anyone like him in the world, and I wouldn’t ever be able to get over him. Even though I eventually did get over him, I won’t forget that pang I had in my heart over that little hooligan.
Now that I’m actually at an age where dating is real and people actually do end up in relationships, I’m very careful. I don’t think a lot of other people are mature enough to handle relationships, and end up in those little teenage hook-ups, where they make out with the person and do the dirty, but don’t actually like each other at all.
As I said before, I really am a hopeless romantic. I understand that the standards I have made for myself are unrealistic and purely childish, but I can’t help but hold onto the hope that I’ll find a version of myself in male form someday (pathetic, I know).
In high school (or at least what I know of it so far), relationships are tricky and full of idiocy. These kids go around cheating on each other, or never liking each other in the first place. I see a lot of one-sided couples, where one of the people involved doesn’t match the strong feelings as the other. It’s quite upsetting, really, when you think about it.
I hate these relationships because there is no point to them. You aren’t going to find your soulmate when you’re fifteen years old, and you can’t expect someone to constantly be there for you when they’re prepping for SATs. The relationships are just pointless, and people only end up getting hurt.
Now, this is only my perspective. I know couples that are well suited for each other and happy together, and I’m so happy for them, but not all people can be that way.
To quote an original Taylor Swift song, “when you’re fifteen, someone tells you they love you, and you believe them”… Wow, T Swizzle. Truly inspiring… and true.
I say that if you really do like someone and enjoy their company, and like the way you personally feel when you’re around them, then you should go for it. But if you feel unsure or hesitant, or uncomfortable, then you know its just your high school hormones wanting to feel that little sliver of “love”.
And for all of you hopeless romantics, I will stand with you this Valentines Day. We can watch sappy movies and cry about not having significant others together. Cheers!