the mcfreaking return

img_2277I never thought I would actually come back to this website and dust it off.

But I just did.

I pray to GOD that none of you think back to what this website once looked like, and the remaining shreds of it now.

I’m working on beating this space’s face, making it resemble who I am now, and not my fourteen-year-old self who was absolutely terrible.

So. It has been nineteen months since I created my last post. That was a really long time ago. A lot has happened since then.

Let me briefly catch you up on some shenanigans I’ve been up to for the past year and a half.giphy-1

April, 2015 I stopped writing on this blog. I think I stopped doing everything around that time. Put my YouTube videos on private.

June, 2015 Finished my freshman year, god bless. It was no good.

Summer 2015 My whole existence turned to shit and I was just a living(?), breathing, walking piece of Death.

img_1968October, 2015 The shit hit the fan.

November, 2o15 Flew to the Green Mountains of Vermont and lived in the wilderness. No, actually. Ever heard of Wilderness Therapy? Made my own fires, cooked my own food, created my own shelter, hiked the snowy mountains with a 65 lb backpack that held my entire life, slept in -10 degree weather, made traps, uprooted trees and made shit out of them, collected water from frozen streams that I threw myself onto to break, didn’t shower.

February, 2016 Graduated from Wilderness Therapy (best experience of my entire life, may I add), and got shipped across the country to Bumblefuck, Utah. Lived on a ranch in the canyons of South-West Utah. Took care of two miniature goats. Raised chickens. Cared for two barns of horses. Rode said horses. Someday, if you’re interested, I’ll have to write of the pure shit this place had in store. It was the worst time of my life.

May, 2016 Got pulled tf out of that place by my family. Drove to Vegas. Flew to Washington, D.C.. Got medical treatment for brain swelling (whole different story). Transferred to Wisconsin.

July, 2016 DISCHARGED FINALLY! Got to go home! Highly anticipated this return.

August, 2016 The return was not what I had hoped it would be. Funny how the world and everyone in it can change so wildly while you’re just frozen in time

September, 2016 Back to school. No good. Stopped going to school. Started relationshipimg_2062
with brilliant human. Happy as a bee. In love.

October, 2016 Back to school 2.0. Still no good. Relationship with said human came to a startling halt. Sad as a dead bee. Still in love. Broken heart. Started writing screenplay for film.

November, 2016 Got stung by bee that was presumed dead. Continued writing said screenplay.

I suppose you’re caught up in the outline of what has happened. Each subject could be elaborated on much more thoroughly or less sarcastically, as they occurred in very terrible, excruciatingly difficult and saddening ways. I think I lightened them up a bit too much.

Anyway, in the time that I’ve been gone, I fell out of love with the things that have made me happy for so long. I stopped writing. I stopped enjoying and creating film. But within the last couple of months, I have agreed to rekindle my romance with the things that I once loved. I am working hard to find the good in this.

Bear with me as I work through my shit; I’m at the bottom of a ten-foot pool filled with it.




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